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Cowboy Humor

Hurrah for You, Sleep Train

Waterline by Wayne SchererLeft: Waterline, by Wayne Scherer

Cowboy Humor by Ben Marshall

I apologize in advance for this column.

It is my strongest desire to refrain from gettin' political when writin' about Cowboy Humor but I can't help myself this time.

Conspiracy Theorists icon, Rush Limbaugh, called a student at Georgetown University a "slut" and a "prostitute."

He implied she was promotin' promiscuity.

Apparently she testified before congress about how birth control pills were found to be shrinkin' a tumor inside the body of one of her girlfriends.

The good folks at Sleep Train decided Rush had breached the final wall of common decency and pulled their advertizin' from his show.

Hurrah for you, Sleep Train. I have two of your mattresses and I love them.

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At first glance, their decision to axe the Grand Poobah seems like an act of the very decency Rush had insulted.

But we know all corporations are evil so there must be more to the story. Right?

How about the bonanza Sleep Train will enjoy pandering to people who are appalled on both sides of the political isle? People who will respect Sleep Train for being an honorable company? People who have a sense of decency?

Hardcore listeners at the bottom of Rush's base, however, may be delighted by his coarse treatment of this young student. But I don't think so.

Surly most of these diehards have daughters or grand daughters they love. Wouldn't they, too, be offended by having one of their children called a slut and a prostitute? It may take time but they will all, eventually, hear about what Rush said.

Sadly, his ratings may have a temporary spike until even these folks, if their hearts are still beatin', will desert him when they realise what a bully he is.

You're a bully, Rush. A bully, a bully, a bully, a bully. Any other member of the GOP who does not stand up and decry your words is a whore. To their party.

And any corporation with cunning in their soul will keep puttin' ads with you until they've sucked the final juices out of your body's tissues and discarded its empty crust.

Sorry, got carried away there. For a moment I thought I was a character in Lord of the Flies. Remember how they all treated Piggy? He was the overweight intellectual with poor eyesight.

Anyway, it would have been easy for Sleep Train to stay with Rush and their tribe would still increase. Everyone loves their products, price, service and the way they give back to the communities where their stores are located. I know. I've bought Sleep Train's quality beds and I'm familiar with what they do for Sonoma County charities.

We would still be on Sleep Train's side if they protested oh ever so slightly and then went on rakin' it in from the freedom haters who will still tune in to hear Rush.

So the Hurrah-for-you-Sleep-Train is not just for flushin' Rush down the toilet to a place where he belongs. It's for doin' it immediately.

While these words appear to be harsh, and a bit hard on the Republicans and their chief spokesman, Rush Limbaugh, I want all of you to know I promise to remain fair in future columns.

And if a Democrat ever does anything wrong, I'll be sure to mention it somewhere.

Cowboy Humor.

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