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Cowboy Humor

Am I Pretty?

Oranges, by Wayne SchererLeft: Waterline, by Wayne Scherer

Cowboy Humor by Ben Marshall

A situation happenin' on YouTube now has me disturbed.

It seems young girls have been postin' videos of themselves on line and askin' the world if they are pretty.

What riles me is not the universal need for acceptance these girls display but the many mean-spirited responses they are gettin' back.

Assumin' at least half of these hateful attacks are from males and in harmony with real men everywhere, I apologize to these young people.

And let me answer your collective question, ladies.

You are beautiful. All of you are beautiful.

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There are so many beautiful things about you. Caring people who may someday become your partners and friends in life will find in you more things than I can come up with.

But let me try to name a couple.

If intelligence can be considered good and good can be considered beautiful, all women are, on the average, more beautiful than all men. Anyone who's ever been in an argument with his girlfriend learns pretty quickly how fast she can run that barrel race.

So, you ladies who ask if you are pretty probably know you are smarter than the males who are writin' those terrible things out of spite. Bein' more intelligent, you are more good and therefore more beautiful.

Also, you are the ones who will someday be responsible for passin' our language down to our grandchildren. Language is sacred to you because it is a gift you will be givin' to your children and your nieces and your nephews.

Harsh language disturbs you although you might not show it. Here's a secret I'll now give to all my Cowboy friends out there. Don't swear around the ladies. You might find the reception you get just a little bit more friendly if you follow my advice.

So thank you, ladies past, present and future for passin' on this gift to the generations. You were, are and will be beautiful for doin' so.

I could go on, believe me, but these two ways you young ladies are and will be beautiful are enough for now.

A cowboy always looks for a silver linin' in life. And these hateful responses to your questions may have one. If you can believe Darwin, you've gotta believe the young men who insulted you have just disqualified themselves from participation in any future gene pools.

Cowboy's Honor

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